BluE Scrubs

This is taking the piss to a higher level. For 12 hours shift i only did one epidural and one caesarian spinal.

If you look closely at the guy who wrote the book, you wonder why what he says matter. But that's just physical appearance. If you sit there and listen to how he explains himself, you just feel like writing a book to retort him. Maybe something like 'Why It Is not a Delusion'.

What he said was very inflammatory very shallow and mucky. I wonder if he's read absolutely everything to know about God. I wonder if he's read the ancient Quran. I just don't think that I should buy his £10 book just to learn more about one person's ignorance. It is not my responsibility.

This book I imagine is weak, but yet I feel threatened. I wonder if anybody's got it and if i can borrow it.

This is just the many things that bothers me today. I am on my first day of the Holy month. We've just finished a Ceasarian and I am struggling. 4 more hours to go.

Not everyday that I am impressed by a poem. I sometimes fantasize about writing a geeky poem. This one is a close resemblance to the one i had in my head but of course they wrote it first, so i have to start a new one which will take another 10 years to finish. Damn it!

The great Dr. Starling in his law of the heart,
Said the output is greater if right from the start
The cardiac fibers were stretched a bit more
So the force of contraction would be more than before
Thus the larger the volume is diastole
The greater the output was likely to be

Anyway, I was just thinking for a moment there, what a joy it is to be able to enjoy a musical because you can hear and see. What a joy it is to be able to feel somebody from his/her writing. Ever thought about what fear it is not to be able to read and write in this century? That sort of puts me off copying the rest of the poem. It just didn't feel right.

I need to go and put up those shelves. Now I feel like I need a man.

If you had a third nipple, who do you tell and who do you not tell to?

It's very early in the morning only because i have been up all night at work. Mind you still at work now.

It was fairly tranquil to start with until one woman went for caesarian section at about 1 am, and then like everything else in Britain, before you knew it, there was a queue for epidurals. So I have been up pretty much all night. Because of course these women don't push because they don't have pain, so baby is doomed stuck and of course another c setion. It's a lot more complicated than that but you know the gist of it.

But that wasn't interesting, this is. I came across this IKEA interactive mediaplayer after slaving my ass doing 3 epidurals since 3am. You're suppose to put a secret into a virtual envelope. The envelope sealed itself and quickly flew into nothingness. And I put mine, excited to see what's next. The next minute, a front page of Indian newspaper spun out of the blue and tadaaaaaa. "Najjer: I have a third nipple". I knew I can never trust internet but i didn't know how bad it can betray you. And plus why do I feel the need to share my third nipple secret with the world?

I am betrayed but I have a plan, going to spy me some coffee tables when i get home (somewhere not IKEA) because when you sit down watching Girlfriends on Trouble channel, of course through your new 32" Toshiba LCD HD ready TV, you would want your cup of tea to steam into the delightful ambience as it sits on your delightful coffee table.

I am a decor junkie, I am I am. Join me.

These days, I appreciate not being dead busy on the job. I am on obstetrics and when you only do obstetrics anaesthetics in the night, life could be cushy. Done about 3 epidurals since 1 am and earlier in the night just one 'crash' section. Caesarians of a crash sort had to be done under GA and it was a pretty straight forward one. 'Shrug', oh well.

I remember a year ago being absolutely petrified with these calls. But I always knew that all my catecholamine receptors will get saturated at some point, I just didn't know it was going to be this soon. I no longer get the buzz from this job. It crossed my mind the other day that maybe I should just dress windows. Harrod's windows maybe. Nice windows make my heart go funny. Racing home from work later probably give me more buzz, maybe I'll knock a few people down on the way home, that'll remind them how precious life is.

On the preciousness of life, I think I should look after myself a bit better. At 01: 40, my throat got a bit bothered with lots of sharp prickly sensations. I am getting this unattractive sad coughs of very little confidence only cause if i let myself cough like that guy on hacks advert my eyeballs will pop put in a projectile manner and I don't want to struggle looking for my eyeballs. My neck starting to hurt and my joints ache. Is there photophobia there? This is the bit where if you are a medic and you're clerking somebody like me, you put query query photophobia to make people go oooohh ahhhh, lets do lumbar puncture. Things they do on the ward round. To see who can come up with the best longest list of diagnosis.

So i took charge on my precious life and took a temperature, it was 37.7, my pulse at rest was 115 and blood pressure 124/75. I don't think I want meningitis but i think I have. But if i go to A&E I might never leave the hospital and my new 32" flatscreen LCD with HD tv will be delivered today. And also these hospital people will stick a needle in and I will most definitely swear at them. I don't like needles.

Think think, do I go to A&E or do I just wilt away in my room only to be discovered by the dustbin man or ..oh wait i am working tomorrow night so they might wonder why there is nobody aswering bleep 600. Nevermind if i am dead with larvae hatching in my skin, these women need their epidurals.

Ok think think.

The glare from this pc is hurting me. I am surrendering, I am defeated. The good thing is if I am dead, i don't have to pay to live.