Monday, October 23, 2006

Selamat hari Raya

Syawal datang lagi, Ramadhan bergegas pergi
Aku lagi baik tak dari tahun lepas
Aku graduate tak tahun ni
Aku confident tak dengan semua puasa tahun ni (minus 5 hari in the middle)
Entahlah, aku harap harap...



Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Mine against time

I have a bit of time to write today. Which is also true for many other days but most of the time, the moment didn’t last long enough for me to get to the notebook at home on time. One could say, I now sleep with my notebook. Because it gives me heat and the bed is now big enough for two.

Actually the house is big enough for two. The spare room is rented out. I let a girl to occupy it. She is very and really nice, I would have her for a sister.

Her room is facing the back garden and beyond that, just trees and some more trees. One could say that there are other houses behind those trees and bushes, but from where I normally observe the greeneries, it looks rather jungly but trustworthy. So I never put curtains in her room. Until one night I was washing up in the kitchen and when I looked up, the darkness was just glaring and the scent of the lilly candle couldn’t distract my fear of this black envelope consuming me fast.

I bought curtain rods the next day and drilled my walls. When that was done, she took out curtains from her underbed storage. She wanted the curtains up all along and must have been waiting and waiting and she didn’t pester me about it. Am I inadequate beyond reasons, or what. How selfish of me. And for all that time, I am glad the darkness was not as beasty to her as it was to me.

I am smitten actually. I get to ride my cycle to work everyday now. It takes me about 20 minutes, just enough to break into cold sweat. Enough to redden the tip of my nose and my cheeks. Enough to have a completely detached time from the abusive demanding beginning of the day. I would think about things. In those cold breeze of lazy start of foggy October mornings, my mind rabbits under the spotlight. I would think about things that are normal and mundane. But put into a perspective of how it is going to be in the next 5 years, fear I felt started hitchhiking on my back, dragging me and vectoring me out.

Things that I am happy with now will not work out in 5 years time. Which would I choose, my heart my soul or my family. My joy my companion or my family. My rock or my family. Why can’t things be easy and why not let people be as long as they love each other.

Skin colour…
I love you, so
Why ?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I know it's wrong but I just couldn't help it.

That, is what i could say about it.

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