BluE Scrubs

I was feeling pretty cut off from the whole Eidul Adha celebration. It’s just me and Noah this year. All by ourselves in this cold cold house. The heater’s decided to fall apart and I think my marrow is turning into phish fud.

When I tried to sound desperate on the phone to the maintenance people, they did a monkey on me and so I chose to ring them again when Noah was screaming halfway through his feed. He does this in the last two days because of the blocked nose. He feeds poorly, sleeps very badly at night and boy isn’t he grumpy when things don’t go his way. Last night his temperature was sky high and possibly his thermostat going must heat up Noah must heat up Noah and gave him a fever. I blame the lack of heat. I blame myself for not being pushy enough with the monkeys.

My poor little fella. Forgive mummy for being such a dufus.

And so…Noah’s daddy’s ran off with another woman to another country.

I know. You thought it’s forever when you say I do. * Scoff*
But they’re coming back in 6 days! * somersault Noah cepat yeaaa *

Eventhough this is Ak’s third time going to Haj, this time he has his mum to look after. Mother in law’s knees are getting athritic so they might be struggling a bit. But I so hope they do well.

I’m not sure how many times I thought about what good things I have done to deserve somebody like him. Makes me also think that true I don’t deserve him, so I have to prove my worthiness quick or risk losing him. Lose him how, I don’t know la how. It’s my fear. I just have it in my head that I am going to lose him unless I become super good super fast. On Eid itself Ak gave us a surprise call all the way from Mecca. I hate it when I sound excited on the phone, he might think I love him or something.

He didn’t sound good. Looks like he’s got a touch of cold as well. Maybe they just miss each other.

Eid Mubarak all.