BluE Scrubs

We moved to this 2 bedroom apartment just before my due date. That was 4 months ago.

Behind it, River Thames snakes gracefully. It's depth and shyness are very much capable of robbing my time that I had aplenty while waiting for Noah to arrive. I frequently just sat on one of the benches that generously fringe the river banks. I watched the boats sail by. Boys and girls from the town boat club zapped by in their pods, very serious with their rowing. I read a few books during that time, one of which was The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai.

I guess after reading Fine Balance by Rohinto Mistry, the above book just struggled to match up. A few days ago, the Final FRCA book arrived from the college. Then the question loomed over me. I just wonder if I am going to commit myself to anaesthetics, go back to work,fight for a numbered post, do the exam and leave Noah in the care of somebody else, or am I just going to stay at home until he is about 2.

I have never not worked. I haven't spoken about work for ages to anybody. I feel stagnant.

But just look at his smile and his little fingers tracing a circle in that gap between my breasts when I nurse him. I feel blessed.