BluE Scrubs

A long lost friend resurfaced after a long long time not being in touch. During which he managed to ditch the bottles, stopped smoking and honour a woman to be his lawfully wedded wife.

Among many things that he asked was, ‘what were we before Naj?’

Which I struggled to answer. Errr..good friends? Best friends?

He even admitted that he’d struggle if he’s the one being asked. My analysis is; because I am Miss Anal-yse kan, he could get away with asking questions like that because, he’s now in a safe zone. He is married and so means he is emotionally stable, and a question like that could only mean one thing, he’s just curious.

Imagine if I start proding him with a similar question, he’d probably think I am still hanging on to the past and wonder why it never worked between us, and probably planning at this minute a trip to US to work in his local hospital, seduce him, set him up, get caught red handed, and finally wifey left. And I go yea! You get the drift.

I am not sure how many people had this ‘not quite there relationship’. The kind that you almost can call him a boyfriend because you’re emotionally connected and maybe committed, but yet, you’ve never met him, and mysteriously that very fact kept your wonky minds like mine functioning, enough to bluff through fourth year project on PTHrp expression on rat’s pancreas.

The curiosity, the witty playful conversations, the dizziness from verbal intercourse, the teasing. So innocent, I still smile just thinking about it.

What I said was, Mr. Oblivious, you were my unlabelled can of baked beans. Which never got on my plate.
***

At work today, my ODA and I scrummed in the corner away from the 3 surgeons working on the right hemicolectomy. I was still in the gown after the epidural insertion, hovering the floor like a Japanese Casper. It was cold in there today.

The conversation later on forced me to be hookered in the middle as more people got round to oooh and to ahhhh. Miss JJ, my ODA is completely self sufficient, financially independent, emotionally sound and sharp. Bold beautiful, full of confidence. I couldn’t believe what she got herself into.

Quick check on the monitor, ‘urmmm still alive’ ok continue.

She was telling me about his ‘friend’, who is really her weekend lover who has been sloppy at keeping in touch, wore blue suit instead of a tuxedo on the ball night, (how rude) and didn’t even compliment her on her gorgeous outfit. Wouldn’t return call for 3 days, excuse: there was no reception. Ya hah ok. We believe you.

Then we looked at the ball pictures and clearly, Miss JJ deserves somebody better. Physically he is not complementary, and from what she told me he is just using her. 'Very stingy in the bedroom department'. I kept myself generous with my opinion which she said was exactly the same thing she had in mind.

So she arrived at a conclusion, and her question was: he’s now an ex, but he doesn’t know yet, what do I do?

I said, without hesitation, go out with another guy. Move on. Because a man, when he wants something, he’d go for it even if it means flying down the canyon to the valley of no return. That’s when they switch to their remotely inferior head.

Then she asked me, really Naj, is that what you’d do?

Actually, no. Sigh.
***


An ex left a message which was rather disturbing.

‘Do you still want this, because if you don’t, I have my eyes on somebody else I might consider’.

Now, even if I want it still, do you think I want to be with somebody who has his eyes set on somebody else? It just doesn’t sound right.

No you will not have that privilege anymore; of knowing exactly how I feel.

Maybe I should try harder understanding the question, why he sent it, what he wants from it. Again it’s just me trying to rationalise every single question, but to be honest, I should have just bring the sky down and squeeze you till you asphyxiate and die a horrible death.

Too many questions, none of them makes me feel any better.

I really didn’t want to write this long.