BluE Scrubs

The year was 1994. The summer was fading away. Autumn was rushing in. It was a new place, I didn’t know what I was thinking coming out miles and miles away from home to this country. It’s like being put in a fridge with some white ginger bread men who talked too fast. A new crowd of people for sure, but none really made me felt welcomed.

In Allenby house I met Marina for the first time. We became best friends straight away. She was almost like a big sister, only she was tad bit smaller than me. She took care of me. She had a spare duvet with a higher tog that she wasn’t using, so she gave that to me. My tights laddered so that morning in the house lounge she called me up to her room and pointed out that my skin was showing, and gave me a fresh pair. We had to wear strange pleated skirts which made us looked like a bunch of spinster librarians, so laddered tights might compromise our ability to retain heat. Marina was very particular about heat conservation. What with having surface area to body mass ratio like us and all.

At night, I’d complain endlessly about Mr.Roberts. He had foul breath. I had to sit at the front you see for the obvious reasons. I was picked on all the time and sprayed with stale saliva every Thursday morning. I complained to Marina about how mentally tiring it was being only girl in his Physics class. She was the only other girl doing Physics in the entire school.

Because of the ratio 1: 14, girls to boys in that school, we ended up being sandwiched by boys all the time. Because we had our own halal portion, our Sunday roasts for example, were hefty than others’. We got them without queuing as well. That made boys looked at our plates. One thing they always said was ‘where the hell do you tiny girls put all that and the potatoes!!!. We loved roast potatoes and we had the same philosophy. Never waste any food, never miss pudding.

We’d sit together in the bus during those netball tournaments all over greater London. We cracked jokes only we understood, reason being it wasn’t in English. People called us the Allenby twins but I always thought she was the prettier one. She had a boyfriend whom she wasn’t sure about, she kept telling me about all the other boys who were after her, but none were as nice as Bo. I liked Bo too. As in I wanted her to be with Bo, not the devilish sister jealousy over the same boy kind of like. You spazzers.

That one night I remember saying something wise like ‘Ala Marina, we don’t live very long anyway kan, why waste time with (that good looking guy who is not as nice as Bo), when we all know Bo loves you very much’.

She left school the next year and went to Imperial College. I was sad although I had a new best friend called Sian Mathias. Only, Sian kept forgetting the meaning of the word ‘balak’, which frustrated me but loved ‘serunding’ as much as Marina and I. We kept in touch but I was busy falling in love myself and bossing the little boys around like a good school prefect. So contact was scanty and the last time I met her was in London 1998. She was married to Bo and was so much in love.

Fast forward this afternoon, a friend from the old school sent a message.

‘Do you remember Marina? You won’t believe this. She went to work yesterday and collapsed. She passed away on the way to the hospital. Nomis, Chen and Farid are going to Seremban to attend the funeral. Hope you’re ok’. xxExx

I was parked outside ASDA at the time. I reread and reread the message. There is only one Marina who is mutual to both of us. I took a deep breath and my hands started to shake. My head spinning for a bit. I wanted to reply, but I really had no idea what to type. If anything I should reply to Marina. But Marina is gone.

I looked around and saw people pushing trolleys like people do in supermarkets. Some smiling some deep in thoughts. I don’t know why I felt I wanted another person to read my message, perhaps I just couldn’t believe it.

A lump grew in my throat and it choked me. My eyes welled up.

Innalillahiwainnaillahirajiuun.

I am sorry I didn’t even make it to your wedding. I thought I had more time.