Monday, September 12, 2005

Toilet Thoughts


I read other blogs. I go back if I like what they write. I leave comments if what they write hit some bonding centres in my brain. Bonding centres are like things that I could just imagine the writer and me doing together.

Like going to Perhentian Island skinny dip under the debauchery of beyond satiable orange moonlight. Orange moonlight makes your skin glow and enhance curves. Don't you know that?

The reflections against the glistening dark sea, awakens the mysterious monstrosity in any innocent girl. The cooling breeze envelopes those needing less distance apart.

Like going to Bali and letting the beat and the spirit of humid hot sweet rave sweat do the talking in De Ja Vu or was it Ku De Ta. Where body language is everything, where a drop is on the beat, where the next beat sees a slithering sultry move, up to pierce your eyes and linger quenching your thirst, where the grind fits and interlocks, leaving sweet talking and sipping sweetness for very very after. Ja Rule and Ashanti –Down for you- is what I mean.

Like frank view on an issue making me see the timid child in the writer. Enough to allow you compare notes on how vulnerable we all can be.

Like a struggle through a dip in life. A cancer, death, lost, refusal, denial, unrequited love (ones that doesn’t involve me), betrayal or just simply a nicely written piece on loneliness and boredom. I can relate to all that. If I didn’t experience them I would have at least seen them.

I can’t list them all but I love those that depict living life to the fullest. But some makes me gag. Retch and screw my face. Coorrr, like vinegar on fat chips.

Like that one on how to lose weight by making a machine wobble your fat so fast that your boobs sag few inches more. It’s completely against the law of thermodynamics. Energy can’t be lost you whales, you transfer it to another form. So if you plan to lose all those flippin fat why not lose your gardener and do the gardening yourself. Lose your cook and do the cooking yourself. After all a woman like you don’t have an office to go to, don’t have a children to run around after.

Instead, you pay people to use electricity to move a machine which generates kinetic energy to jiggle your flabby full of fat front silly. Did you yelp like Homer as well? And what kind of energy expenditure did your fat body do? Exactly. To lose energy, you apply more energy, Very clever. And yes the mud wrap or whatever they call it, I have been made to believe that your skin works from within my dear, even if you cement yourself into a wall it wouldn’t shrink your X size. Unless some bones are crushed in the process.

And you slag these people because ‘it’ doesn’t work. These people make money (your money or your husband’s) from stupidity and ignorance people (that includes you) still carry around like birthmarks. You melon.

On that note, some are so good at what they do, writing specifically, I envy some of them, but there is absolutely no sense in some of the things they do, hence the content of what they write. Why do people stop thinking?

Some are pretty (I give that), but they have to spoil it by writing something stale and greasy like ‘oh saya sangat bagus dengan budak-budak, mesti masa orang tengok saya kat kenduri tu orang fikir, eh bagusnya dia ni, macam ibu misali, dahlah sangat cantik dengan kebayanya, nak buat menantulah ’. I see right through that one. You are single and available, yes we know that now. Could you not be so see through and a bit classy? What they write makes me gag. I feel sorry for myself for not ‘feeling’ it but, you shame my kind girls, the single kind.

One I remember, wrote about Merdeka celebration by getting drunk. And actually is proud of doing that. Let you celebrate whichever way you want you say, do you really think that is patriotic? Do you? Do you now? You make me itch la.

You getting drunk is your business, but why drag Merdeka into it? Looks like they Brits hadn’t really left Malaya after all. I know you have more balls than that, show why not a bit of respect for Merdeka celebration (not your balls). Even lack of celebration appears more appropriate after reading mixture of what people think is right by them on how to celebrate. I am sure you will reread what you’ve written and beat yourself with some soiled knickers later. If you haven’t done so lah.

And of course they’ll say it’s my blog I can write what I want. Pffftt…of course.

I have run out of toothpaste.

Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Links
nursing uniforms
Raglan Top in Amber Glow
Raglan-$14.95
Buy Scrubs at Scrubsgallery.com
and save.