BluE Scrubs

Few beings and their antics in the exam hall annoyed me, so much so that if I was wearing a pair of sandals I would have plonked it on the respective annoyer or annoyist. (the thingy that had caused somebody to be annoyed).

I can never tell when to use –ist or –er. Also, I am violent these days. I must have been possessed but possessed people don’t normally say they are possessed. Anyhow,

1) The woman invigilator with heavy fronts wearing a tight top and clonking shoes. When the clonking is that loud, you can’t help but investigate what impact the clonking has on her heavy fronts. It was quite hilarious to watch but that wasn’t my point. Some body must have experienced the similar incarcerated distraction and took the liberty of telling her to take the shoes off. 15 minutes into the exam she was spotted surreptitiously floating around barefoot. I don’t know where they got her from, her hair had electric blue rinse and her face- eyebrow piercing, nose piercing and 3 other piercing on each ears. Very distractive.

2) The guy with Topshop label on his T-shirt sticking out tempting me to go and tuck it in once and for all. He sat on my left front, stooping over, kept rubbing and massaging his neck. Every time his hand past the sticking label I felt like going over and do it for him. Did he do it on purpose? Just flip the flippin’ label in will you! The more I looked, I somehow felt the label got bigger and bigger. It creaked as well; the neck. Eughh.

3) The guy front right had Cadbury chocolate bar, Twix, Polo mints, Starburst chewies and a bottle of coke nicely displayed on his desk. I mean go on bring whatever you want but how do you unwrap sweeties without making noise? And he surely knows one cannot die from 3 hours of nil per oral. Bring a basket with plates and wine glasses next time why don’t you doc and we all can have pasta and Bollinger picnic. Wait, don’t forget croissants, apricot jam and a tumbler of hot chocolate as well please.

4) The Indian girl on my right kept erasing answers and blowing the rubber bits on my direction. Does it say on the exam booklet that if you have marked you answer wrongly, erase it and aim to blow to your left as hard as you can until the girl next to you choke and gasp and die from asphyxiation?

5) The guy behind me who had this unruly leg oscillating at high frequency making such a frustrating wobbling nyetnyetnyet sound. Not sure if it’s his synthetic leather shoes or his artificial knees, but both didn’t impress me much.

6) The Malay looking invigilator who was supposed to be the reference invigilator if any of us had any questions related to the paper itself, who spent nearly 2 minutes towering over me looking down at my blank answer sheet (the first 5 questions were absolute porkies), then another 2 minutes picking up my driving licence, staring, examining, scrutinizing probably thinking ‘Oh melayu rupanya budak ni, kenapa first 5 questions tak jawab2 lagi ni, susah sangat ke , masa I buat exam I dulu I star gila semua buat pakai sebelah mata aje, kesian I tengok budak ni, dah la gambar lesen macam muka botol kicap …heheheheh’. The picture on my driving licence is not what my mum would use for arranged marriage photo let’s put it that way. Yes there has been a talk of that magnitude lately.

I later found out it was all highly premenstrual, poached with good proportion of nerves and anxiety. I have no idea how it got to me, or how I manage to let it get to me and why the world needs to know that. And what I'd say is when you can’t explain, it’s usually the hormones. So, I should photocopy this and let people read it whenever they go ‘So how was the exam Naj?’

I am still whiney and grumpy and in need of a fix.