Sunday, July 17, 2005
Luke Warm Night
I know it was a bit harsh but I really was annoyed, maybe from lack of sleep from the on call the night before. To top it all, I was all hot and bothered.
The nattering from her was really getting under my skin and the fact that it was repeated over and over again really sent me up the wall. And honest I say it was such a hot day and my Renault is not made for Malaysia or Saudi , I only had a fan blowing hot air.
Women do this all the time. Analysing, dissecting, mulling over and over again, doing a post mortem over the remnants of their broken hearts.
What does he mean by he’s not ready for a relationship?
Was I coming on too strongly?
Maybe I should have been harsh and more forward with my opinion to her. Imagining myself being a man, I would want my girl to be independent, smart, streetwise, confident, secure about her looks, in love with herself. It’s only when she’s all that and speak words of encouragement, satisfaction and gratification it’ll be easy for me to fall in love, in fact impossible not to love.
Wittiness and flair with language is another irresistible quality. I’d like my girl to be able to play the language of love with me, to tease me, to challenge the great philosophers in her own simple banal words. When we have dispute, it’s the way the words are stringed together that would make me let her have the last word because it doesn’t matter if I lose the argument, I win her heart.
And when she’s beautiful, with a cheeky smile, comes in a tight neat little package, glowing healthy skin from good eating habit and exercise, I’d be stupid not to fall straight away. They say diamonds are not made the size of a brick, so at anytime a petite woman will get a second look from me.
They are strange men, in that the harder it is to get the woman, the higher the price they are willing to pay just to see the woman smile, just to see her eyes sparkle like a pair of diamond studs.
Men are not complicated though. They don’t give mixed messages. The truth is he’s probably not into you. Regardless of what he’s looking for in a girl, even if he’s broken up with his ex-girlfriend yesterday, if you’re all that and above the ex, he won’t wait to fall in love, for falling in love is not something you can hold back. It just happens.
Bit like a woman given birth to a baby, does she stop and think whether to love the baby or not? Nope she’ll love and love too much, straight away, because that’s what she wanted.
Instead of making all that excuses for the men, women should just say, hmm he’s just not into me, move on.
But that’s not what I said to my damsel in distress. Instead, in between sipping my mocha frappucino, I said, maybe he’ll call in a few days time.
I remember aeons ago in another time frame, a certain anak datuk with charm and smile enough to send me to the land of eternal bliss. Was swept off my feet, my heart fluttered to paroxysmal sinus tachycardia, I was actually conscious of how I look, now that is abnormal.
We would talk for hours and hours and hours. He’d be in KL or Melbourne and would still ring and would fall asleep after talking for about 3 hours, until his phone card faced demise. Tired maybe from the jetlag and the time difference with UK. On asking why he didn’t just hang up, he’d say because I don’t want to stop listening to your voice.
Words were superfluous, and promises were just heaps like a million dollar cheque ready for cashing in. I was smothered, buttered, pampered with words.
He’d bring me to meet his adorable mother, and his respectable father. Would be out with me for almost every meal, even breakfast at 7 in the morning. 06:45 in front of the gate! I sensed no flaw, but, he never ever looked me straight in the eye.
Looking back, he lied about a lot of things. He just to this date doesn’t know that I know. And I wouldn’t want to start nattering about his wrongs because it makes no difference what so ever.
What favour would I do that to if I open a can of worms like that?
Few times he’d just ring and break down in tears without saying a word. He was close to me emotionally, probably sensing that I’d understand what turmoil he is in with his allegedly ex-girlfriend, but probably weary that I’d just disappear after knowing that much emotional garbage he’s still carrying with him and still being with the girl .
That is me not making an excuse, that is me understanding one’s emotion. He’s witty, charming and probably one of the few clever guys I’ve ever met, his smile would ease a uterine expansile contraction but when it comes to relationships, he’s just a piece of unfinished quilt. And also a piece of shit.
He asked too much from me, but maybe it’s what is expected of him.
A girl with a supermodel look, a name which starts with Tengku, plays violin, flawless skin and the list goes on. It’s just not this doctor. She’s just a simple girl with breakouts sometimes especially after nights on endless on calls. I can play the trombone but that is hardly angelic and demure. I can paint and hum a few tunes, but that would only be precious to those who can appreciate it.
Little that I know, he’s the biggest player that has ever ever roamed the surface of PJ land. So there you go, he was just not into me, and little I can do to make things go my way.
I brought it upon myself and people have that right to love or not to love. All I can say is I was just upset that I could let myself be in that perpetual infatuated and intoxicated state, blinded by anything and everything.
Remember though, falling in love is not a crime and hoping that something materialized out of that satisfying feeling is a right given to everybody which should never ever be mocked or patronized.
With that said, go on fall in love and get your heart broken once or twice, life is just too short.
The witty charming, agile and intelligent ones might send your hearts through a roller coster corkscrew ride but might send 0.5 mA current up and down your spine putting that blush on your cheeks. The blur, straight talking, by the books ones might be sitting by the pool full of naked women and not even glance at any tits but can you live with the routine and mundane?
I am not talking about a sentence to eternal missionary position, but you know what I mean. It's your choice.
The nattering from her was really getting under my skin and the fact that it was repeated over and over again really sent me up the wall. And honest I say it was such a hot day and my Renault is not made for Malaysia or Saudi , I only had a fan blowing hot air.
Women do this all the time. Analysing, dissecting, mulling over and over again, doing a post mortem over the remnants of their broken hearts.
What does he mean by he’s not ready for a relationship?
Was I coming on too strongly?
Maybe I should have been harsh and more forward with my opinion to her. Imagining myself being a man, I would want my girl to be independent, smart, streetwise, confident, secure about her looks, in love with herself. It’s only when she’s all that and speak words of encouragement, satisfaction and gratification it’ll be easy for me to fall in love, in fact impossible not to love.
Wittiness and flair with language is another irresistible quality. I’d like my girl to be able to play the language of love with me, to tease me, to challenge the great philosophers in her own simple banal words. When we have dispute, it’s the way the words are stringed together that would make me let her have the last word because it doesn’t matter if I lose the argument, I win her heart.
And when she’s beautiful, with a cheeky smile, comes in a tight neat little package, glowing healthy skin from good eating habit and exercise, I’d be stupid not to fall straight away. They say diamonds are not made the size of a brick, so at anytime a petite woman will get a second look from me.
They are strange men, in that the harder it is to get the woman, the higher the price they are willing to pay just to see the woman smile, just to see her eyes sparkle like a pair of diamond studs.
Men are not complicated though. They don’t give mixed messages. The truth is he’s probably not into you. Regardless of what he’s looking for in a girl, even if he’s broken up with his ex-girlfriend yesterday, if you’re all that and above the ex, he won’t wait to fall in love, for falling in love is not something you can hold back. It just happens.
Bit like a woman given birth to a baby, does she stop and think whether to love the baby or not? Nope she’ll love and love too much, straight away, because that’s what she wanted.
Instead of making all that excuses for the men, women should just say, hmm he’s just not into me, move on.
But that’s not what I said to my damsel in distress. Instead, in between sipping my mocha frappucino, I said, maybe he’ll call in a few days time.
I remember aeons ago in another time frame, a certain anak datuk with charm and smile enough to send me to the land of eternal bliss. Was swept off my feet, my heart fluttered to paroxysmal sinus tachycardia, I was actually conscious of how I look, now that is abnormal.
We would talk for hours and hours and hours. He’d be in KL or Melbourne and would still ring and would fall asleep after talking for about 3 hours, until his phone card faced demise. Tired maybe from the jetlag and the time difference with UK. On asking why he didn’t just hang up, he’d say because I don’t want to stop listening to your voice.
Words were superfluous, and promises were just heaps like a million dollar cheque ready for cashing in. I was smothered, buttered, pampered with words.
He’d bring me to meet his adorable mother, and his respectable father. Would be out with me for almost every meal, even breakfast at 7 in the morning. 06:45 in front of the gate! I sensed no flaw, but, he never ever looked me straight in the eye.
Looking back, he lied about a lot of things. He just to this date doesn’t know that I know. And I wouldn’t want to start nattering about his wrongs because it makes no difference what so ever.
What favour would I do that to if I open a can of worms like that?
Few times he’d just ring and break down in tears without saying a word. He was close to me emotionally, probably sensing that I’d understand what turmoil he is in with his allegedly ex-girlfriend, but probably weary that I’d just disappear after knowing that much emotional garbage he’s still carrying with him and still being with the girl .
That is me not making an excuse, that is me understanding one’s emotion. He’s witty, charming and probably one of the few clever guys I’ve ever met, his smile would ease a uterine expansile contraction but when it comes to relationships, he’s just a piece of unfinished quilt. And also a piece of shit.
He asked too much from me, but maybe it’s what is expected of him.
A girl with a supermodel look, a name which starts with Tengku, plays violin, flawless skin and the list goes on. It’s just not this doctor. She’s just a simple girl with breakouts sometimes especially after nights on endless on calls. I can play the trombone but that is hardly angelic and demure. I can paint and hum a few tunes, but that would only be precious to those who can appreciate it.
Little that I know, he’s the biggest player that has ever ever roamed the surface of PJ land. So there you go, he was just not into me, and little I can do to make things go my way.
I brought it upon myself and people have that right to love or not to love. All I can say is I was just upset that I could let myself be in that perpetual infatuated and intoxicated state, blinded by anything and everything.
Remember though, falling in love is not a crime and hoping that something materialized out of that satisfying feeling is a right given to everybody which should never ever be mocked or patronized.
With that said, go on fall in love and get your heart broken once or twice, life is just too short.
The witty charming, agile and intelligent ones might send your hearts through a roller coster corkscrew ride but might send 0.5 mA current up and down your spine putting that blush on your cheeks. The blur, straight talking, by the books ones might be sitting by the pool full of naked women and not even glance at any tits but can you live with the routine and mundane?
I am not talking about a sentence to eternal missionary position, but you know what I mean. It's your choice.
