Monday, July 04, 2005
Appreciating What Didn't Happen
I have no thoughts today and that scares the living hell out of me.
At least not since coming home and passed out for 3 hours. I rarely sleep during the day unless my body clock been through some torture excursion like a 13 hr flight to the motherland. Woke up with a mothergrandfather of pins and needles. Felt like the whole legs been put through a circuit to earth an electric shaver. Don’t ask how I know that. I used to like poking holes when was a little girl.
It’s understandable I suppose if you’ve been on call from Friday, through the Saturday, and woke up on Sunday with what seemed like a hangover because I did for a while felt like I rule the world so that gave me the right to not go to work.
I did turn up in the end when they say the woman’s blood pressure was 76/41 (that’s very low) cue for strutting to the ward and putting up the fluid yourself. The nurse in charge (blessed the dainty soul of hers) said to me; yea I know it’s low but it’s Sunday and we’re understaffed. I can’t go around doing 2 readings for everybody.
Hello makcik, that is very low and you could at least do a repeat to make sure it’s a true reading if you’re not planning to call the docs on duty.
Aiyo why lah hah we have to go pick up the pieces like this? So how am I supposed to put this lady to sleep without any blood pressure? Anaesthetic induced cardiac arrest? That’d be fun. And I’ll be very popular.
Why do I digressed to Sunday? It’s Monday today and of course everything has to happen on Mondays. I walked into chaos as usual. The consultant called in sick so I had to do the punani list on my own.
The first lady didn’t have the notes available and she’s allergic to latex. Just what you want on your Monday morning with a consultant at home playing PS2 nursing his too-unwell-to-come-in-to-workitis, of course not faking symptoms of not feeling very well which really we know he’d come in had it been only him doing the list but because Naj is having a respite from continuous on calls by having a normal day today and more than willing to help out, he might just let Naj sort it out. *Breath* She’ll manage. Ok maybe he’s really not well. I am cranky and catching the cynical bug fast.
So this lady is a nightmare. She’s a proper latex allergy specimen. Any contact with latex her airway will close up, go blue, stop breathing, pressure crash and let's not be too imaginative. I really didn’t feel like I was up to it. Again, nightmare, nightmare.
It would have been different if something did happen, I might not write these in this manner. So head put back into the rail of reality and sensibility, I thank You that the list went as it should be, I thank You that you were there to look out for me when I was trusted with a life in my hand.
I despise the fact that the surgeons were taking things lightly by not having the notes on the ward on time, but it was a good panic. I didn’t like the way they pressed on, but it was a good practice. I didn’t like chaos in the morning, but one every now and then would do me good.
It was quiet, a day has passed, things get done like any other day, almost like nothing did happen at all, but the lady sure had her operation minus the anaphylactic shock she had last time she saw people in bluescrubs.
The responsibility was probably one of the biggest I had to carry. It didn’t happen the loudest, but it was still one of the greatest, for me.
I suppose this is what appreciating something that didn’t happen feels like.
At least not since coming home and passed out for 3 hours. I rarely sleep during the day unless my body clock been through some torture excursion like a 13 hr flight to the motherland. Woke up with a mothergrandfather of pins and needles. Felt like the whole legs been put through a circuit to earth an electric shaver. Don’t ask how I know that. I used to like poking holes when was a little girl.
It’s understandable I suppose if you’ve been on call from Friday, through the Saturday, and woke up on Sunday with what seemed like a hangover because I did for a while felt like I rule the world so that gave me the right to not go to work.
I did turn up in the end when they say the woman’s blood pressure was 76/41 (that’s very low) cue for strutting to the ward and putting up the fluid yourself. The nurse in charge (blessed the dainty soul of hers) said to me; yea I know it’s low but it’s Sunday and we’re understaffed. I can’t go around doing 2 readings for everybody.
Hello makcik, that is very low and you could at least do a repeat to make sure it’s a true reading if you’re not planning to call the docs on duty.
Aiyo why lah hah we have to go pick up the pieces like this? So how am I supposed to put this lady to sleep without any blood pressure? Anaesthetic induced cardiac arrest? That’d be fun. And I’ll be very popular.
Why do I digressed to Sunday? It’s Monday today and of course everything has to happen on Mondays. I walked into chaos as usual. The consultant called in sick so I had to do the punani list on my own.
The first lady didn’t have the notes available and she’s allergic to latex. Just what you want on your Monday morning with a consultant at home playing PS2 nursing his too-unwell-to-come-in-to-workitis, of course not faking symptoms of not feeling very well which really we know he’d come in had it been only him doing the list but because Naj is having a respite from continuous on calls by having a normal day today and more than willing to help out, he might just let Naj sort it out. *Breath* She’ll manage. Ok maybe he’s really not well. I am cranky and catching the cynical bug fast.
So this lady is a nightmare. She’s a proper latex allergy specimen. Any contact with latex her airway will close up, go blue, stop breathing, pressure crash and let's not be too imaginative. I really didn’t feel like I was up to it. Again, nightmare, nightmare.
It would have been different if something did happen, I might not write these in this manner. So head put back into the rail of reality and sensibility, I thank You that the list went as it should be, I thank You that you were there to look out for me when I was trusted with a life in my hand.
I despise the fact that the surgeons were taking things lightly by not having the notes on the ward on time, but it was a good panic. I didn’t like the way they pressed on, but it was a good practice. I didn’t like chaos in the morning, but one every now and then would do me good.
It was quiet, a day has passed, things get done like any other day, almost like nothing did happen at all, but the lady sure had her operation minus the anaphylactic shock she had last time she saw people in bluescrubs.
The responsibility was probably one of the biggest I had to carry. It didn’t happen the loudest, but it was still one of the greatest, for me.
I suppose this is what appreciating something that didn’t happen feels like.
