Sunday, April 17, 2005
I Am Chill..
Where did you come from?
Was going to do my laundry so took laundry bag, sling it over my shoulder to create the effect that it wasn’t that heavy although the size already justified the weight. Stood outside the laundry room and the mind went caput. What is the blimming code?
3 and 4 together and 5?
2and 4 together and 5?
Or
4 and 5 together and 2?
Left the laundry bag and ran upstairs.
Oh the door is locked. Fished for the key.
Where is the blimming key?
Oh nooo
Locked myself out.
Ran to security to get a chit to be signed by the site manager to approve for a spare key for the porter to issue the key *breath*
Got the chit, ran to the porter’s lodge.
Never seen so many posters of naked women in my life. Felt ass being checked out by the thin pale porter with spots around sideburns. They still do that hairstyle?
Porter with beer belly smelled of beer came very close. Looked a bit like Colonel Saunders. Handed over the key to me but eyes looking at Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom on my chest. (Don't ask if I have three nipples). Wrapped zipper hoody fleece round the front like was feeling chilly all of a sudden. Looked around a bit more. Some rubber penises and bobbies mugs. Perverts. Ran fast.
Got the key, ran to the flat. The code was normally on the yellow card on the fridge magnet.
Where the tuuut is the card?
Looked everywhere.
Above, behind, on the sides.
There, under. Saw it there, lying exposed , eyeing me like a flirty belly dancer.
Wished I was a cockroach. No, cicada, better. Prettier.Wished hands were smaller, flatter like a platypus. Don’t care what that is. Sounds flat.
Twisting body, squeezing boobs, holding breath and crunching bowels till felt like letting gas and blue. Wrist was red like I’ve tortured myself because I like being in pain. Got it out!
Ran to the laundry.
2 and 4 together and 3
2 and 4 together and 3
Stood in front of the laundry door.
2 and four together and 3. Click* Wey hay!!
Got to the machine. Smiled so wide until machine vomited back a 5 pence coin.
Tried again and again and again.
Now bothered to look close at the coin.
What the tutt!
It’s flippin’ dutch money.
Argghhhhh.
Kicked laundry basket. Jumped around and screamed like tarzan with tooth ache.
Went back to the flat.
Ate a whole giant profiterole with cream and chocolate at the top. Felt like vomiting, fat and extra stupid but happier.
Wanted to cry. Hahahahahahahahahahah..
How unlucky can one be to blow 3 light bulbs in a space of 5 minutes- on top of all that?
Cheap
Was going to do my laundry so took laundry bag, sling it over my shoulder to create the effect that it wasn’t that heavy although the size already justified the weight. Stood outside the laundry room and the mind went caput. What is the blimming code?
3 and 4 together and 5?
2and 4 together and 5?
Or
4 and 5 together and 2?
Left the laundry bag and ran upstairs.
Oh the door is locked. Fished for the key.
Where is the blimming key?
Oh nooo
Locked myself out.
Ran to security to get a chit to be signed by the site manager to approve for a spare key for the porter to issue the key *breath*
Got the chit, ran to the porter’s lodge.
Never seen so many posters of naked women in my life. Felt ass being checked out by the thin pale porter with spots around sideburns. They still do that hairstyle?
Porter with beer belly smelled of beer came very close. Looked a bit like Colonel Saunders. Handed over the key to me but eyes looking at Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom on my chest. (Don't ask if I have three nipples). Wrapped zipper hoody fleece round the front like was feeling chilly all of a sudden. Looked around a bit more. Some rubber penises and bobbies mugs. Perverts. Ran fast.
Got the key, ran to the flat. The code was normally on the yellow card on the fridge magnet.
Where the tuuut is the card?
Looked everywhere.
Above, behind, on the sides.
There, under. Saw it there, lying exposed , eyeing me like a flirty belly dancer.
Wished I was a cockroach. No, cicada, better. Prettier.Wished hands were smaller, flatter like a platypus. Don’t care what that is. Sounds flat.
Twisting body, squeezing boobs, holding breath and crunching bowels till felt like letting gas and blue. Wrist was red like I’ve tortured myself because I like being in pain. Got it out!
Ran to the laundry.
2 and 4 together and 3
2 and 4 together and 3
Stood in front of the laundry door.
2 and four together and 3. Click* Wey hay!!
Got to the machine. Smiled so wide until machine vomited back a 5 pence coin.
Tried again and again and again.
Now bothered to look close at the coin.
What the tutt!
It’s flippin’ dutch money.
Argghhhhh.
Kicked laundry basket. Jumped around and screamed like tarzan with tooth ache.
Went back to the flat.
Ate a whole giant profiterole with cream and chocolate at the top. Felt like vomiting, fat and extra stupid but happier.
Wanted to cry. Hahahahahahahahahahah..
How unlucky can one be to blow 3 light bulbs in a space of 5 minutes- on top of all that?
Cheap
