Monday, April 11, 2005
Anaesthetist Rant
Most people probably have this picture of anaesthetists sitting on their bums all day watching the green scrubbed hyenas feasting on the stomachs, colons, bladders, when asked what do you think anaesthetists do?
As a consultant, probably so but us trainees are still far from developing pressure sores in our derriere. This is why people still hack the FRCA exam even on the 6th attempt. You get 8 goes.
I was starting my day in full gear yesterday, in my mind hoooyeahh..last day of 3 mindnumbing feet jellying on calls. In my bestest ever bluescrubs I strode into the unit to find the last night’s second on call, Deepa no where in my stereoscopic vision. She must have a quiet night and still fast asleep I thought, so I waited for a while and while longer and a while longer.
Little did I know that she was actually in maternity with an obese lady bearing twins. She must’ve had a few goes and was still at it. Oh I feel for you comrade. My beautiful morning ended abruptly like Madonna’s tape incarcerated in my grandfather’s tape player, just anticipating I had to take over. Tok Ayah's stereo had massive-silver-ketepang- buttons specially made as if people in the 80s were all partially sighted.
Lets fast forward this bit and hallelujah bless fat people, got it in!!!! Mind you a post on fat women and risks in pregnancy is overdue. Let’s add that to the list.
Am unsure of the priority status, should it go on top of “go into John the audit officer’s office and spill ink over all the data sheets so I don’t have to sit there sifting through forms and break the codes filled in by doctors”?. I feel for all pharmacists who have to read all the prescriptions.
Or shall I put it above “call the GP to have a debate on why I don’t want a pap smear”. Seriously now, bless the people who put on weight despite eating very ‘little’ and such ‘small’ amount. It’s a disease. Say it together, it’s a disease- fat people say, nothing they can do about it, and also it is the bone, they just have bigger bones they say.
They sit in their council flats on fish and chips diet and flick the remote control exercising their minds on who is going out with who and when the next methodone dose is. No cutting down the portion of food which could feed 4 people will help or even tonnes and tonnes of exercise would make any difference. Yes we hear you, it just doesn’t work on you, on others yeah maybe. Little hope you have in yourself.
There is a war against obesity in all anaesthetics department. Some people say this is what you call be cruel to be kind. None of the things people say would make fat people realize what a hazard it is to go for anaesthetics when fat people are fat. Oh sorry fat people is suffice because surely they don’t want to be any different from being fat because only by being fat makes them happy and only by being fat makes it alright to curse people who are not fat because to them they are always the ones being discriminated against.
Oh wait, this is a post on it’s own already, so scrap it off the list. So for those people who want to educate themselves, make sure you go to the nearest internet enabled computer , your own preferably because it is quite daunting to be googling about obesity as your image of “I am fat but I am happy” ala Kirstey Alley might be tarnished by the onlookers. Do this, go to Google and search OBESITY and ANAESTHESIA.
Some anaesthetists dedicate their entire career to understand the physiology of fatness to make sure less and less fat people perish under anaesthetics. Various manoeuvres are tried and adopted especially around the time tubing an obese patient or extubating for that matter.
When you do get the search results, just choose the ones you fancy reading, you know, short and succinct and sweet and straight to the point and for those who really do that, the word mortality means death just in case you’re wondering because that will come up so often you think it’s a type of food they have to stay away from.
I could apologize to the fat people nation because there will be people who are bound to take this seriously and probably send me anthrax in the post next 24 hours, but no I won’t because if I was fat, I’d be grateful to read this and know how passionate some anaesthetists are about fat people.
You might sense that I am backing off a bit now because I know I have said a lot and it is one of those ‘ouch’ posts. But let it be this way, if you’re fat and you’re going to have an operation please lose weight make it a war between you and those tight adipose tissues.You never know who will there looking after you while you’re asleep.
If you’re distraught by this the better. Adrenaline induce fat metabolism so you will move those fat around and lose some pounds as you sit watching Friends or OC or Ministry of Mayhem passively provided on the proximal end you don’t stuff yourself sick with Mars bars. Worse still those ones dipped in batter and deep fried. Euuuuhhhh.
I don’t think it’s just that spinal in maternity that triggered me to write this obnoxious post, it’s also that poor lady who was sent up to the unit from ophthalmic clinic for cannulation after being made a pin cushion by the nurses and the SHO down there.
She was so terrified I had to ask if she wants a cuppa before we started. It was almost like a torture chamber in that cubicle a while later. I made her run hot water over her hand, tourniquet the forearm, flicked hard to get the histamine to do what it does best and lo and behold the vein made it’s shy appearance. Wohoooooo..things I get excited about. She was most pleased, that was the most important thing.
It’s amazing come to think of what I can be inspired by and like a Tokyo bullet train sit here blog about, at this time of night. I know the obesity subject can be very of an onion matter, you’ll end up crying if you don’t do it properly oh wait..you’ll cry anyway even if you do it properly because people can be so screwed up. Period. But why the double standard? Do you see people think twice before they say skinny?
Presentation on thermoregulation tomorrow and so not looking forward to it. Again why did I say yes to everything?
As a consultant, probably so but us trainees are still far from developing pressure sores in our derriere. This is why people still hack the FRCA exam even on the 6th attempt. You get 8 goes.
I was starting my day in full gear yesterday, in my mind hoooyeahh..last day of 3 mindnumbing feet jellying on calls. In my bestest ever bluescrubs I strode into the unit to find the last night’s second on call, Deepa no where in my stereoscopic vision. She must have a quiet night and still fast asleep I thought, so I waited for a while and while longer and a while longer.
Little did I know that she was actually in maternity with an obese lady bearing twins. She must’ve had a few goes and was still at it. Oh I feel for you comrade. My beautiful morning ended abruptly like Madonna’s tape incarcerated in my grandfather’s tape player, just anticipating I had to take over. Tok Ayah's stereo had massive-silver-ketepang- buttons specially made as if people in the 80s were all partially sighted.
Lets fast forward this bit and hallelujah bless fat people, got it in!!!! Mind you a post on fat women and risks in pregnancy is overdue. Let’s add that to the list.
Am unsure of the priority status, should it go on top of “go into John the audit officer’s office and spill ink over all the data sheets so I don’t have to sit there sifting through forms and break the codes filled in by doctors”?. I feel for all pharmacists who have to read all the prescriptions.
Or shall I put it above “call the GP to have a debate on why I don’t want a pap smear”. Seriously now, bless the people who put on weight despite eating very ‘little’ and such ‘small’ amount. It’s a disease. Say it together, it’s a disease- fat people say, nothing they can do about it, and also it is the bone, they just have bigger bones they say.
They sit in their council flats on fish and chips diet and flick the remote control exercising their minds on who is going out with who and when the next methodone dose is. No cutting down the portion of food which could feed 4 people will help or even tonnes and tonnes of exercise would make any difference. Yes we hear you, it just doesn’t work on you, on others yeah maybe. Little hope you have in yourself.
There is a war against obesity in all anaesthetics department. Some people say this is what you call be cruel to be kind. None of the things people say would make fat people realize what a hazard it is to go for anaesthetics when fat people are fat. Oh sorry fat people is suffice because surely they don’t want to be any different from being fat because only by being fat makes them happy and only by being fat makes it alright to curse people who are not fat because to them they are always the ones being discriminated against.
Oh wait, this is a post on it’s own already, so scrap it off the list. So for those people who want to educate themselves, make sure you go to the nearest internet enabled computer , your own preferably because it is quite daunting to be googling about obesity as your image of “I am fat but I am happy” ala Kirstey Alley might be tarnished by the onlookers. Do this, go to Google and search OBESITY and ANAESTHESIA.
Some anaesthetists dedicate their entire career to understand the physiology of fatness to make sure less and less fat people perish under anaesthetics. Various manoeuvres are tried and adopted especially around the time tubing an obese patient or extubating for that matter.
When you do get the search results, just choose the ones you fancy reading, you know, short and succinct and sweet and straight to the point and for those who really do that, the word mortality means death just in case you’re wondering because that will come up so often you think it’s a type of food they have to stay away from.
I could apologize to the fat people nation because there will be people who are bound to take this seriously and probably send me anthrax in the post next 24 hours, but no I won’t because if I was fat, I’d be grateful to read this and know how passionate some anaesthetists are about fat people.
You might sense that I am backing off a bit now because I know I have said a lot and it is one of those ‘ouch’ posts. But let it be this way, if you’re fat and you’re going to have an operation please lose weight make it a war between you and those tight adipose tissues.You never know who will there looking after you while you’re asleep.
If you’re distraught by this the better. Adrenaline induce fat metabolism so you will move those fat around and lose some pounds as you sit watching Friends or OC or Ministry of Mayhem passively provided on the proximal end you don’t stuff yourself sick with Mars bars. Worse still those ones dipped in batter and deep fried. Euuuuhhhh.
I don’t think it’s just that spinal in maternity that triggered me to write this obnoxious post, it’s also that poor lady who was sent up to the unit from ophthalmic clinic for cannulation after being made a pin cushion by the nurses and the SHO down there.
She was so terrified I had to ask if she wants a cuppa before we started. It was almost like a torture chamber in that cubicle a while later. I made her run hot water over her hand, tourniquet the forearm, flicked hard to get the histamine to do what it does best and lo and behold the vein made it’s shy appearance. Wohoooooo..things I get excited about. She was most pleased, that was the most important thing.
It’s amazing come to think of what I can be inspired by and like a Tokyo bullet train sit here blog about, at this time of night. I know the obesity subject can be very of an onion matter, you’ll end up crying if you don’t do it properly oh wait..you’ll cry anyway even if you do it properly because people can be so screwed up. Period. But why the double standard? Do you see people think twice before they say skinny?
Presentation on thermoregulation tomorrow and so not looking forward to it. Again why did I say yes to everything?
