Saturday, March 26, 2005

That Easter Afternoon.

What's In The Post Posted by Hello



Avril Lavigne was touring London on that Ministry of Mayhem program this morning. For some bizarre reasons I felt the need to include going on that red open top double decker tour bus in my list of ‘things to do before 30’. Very soon.

It will be busy though at this time of year. Schools are closed for Easter and during my A-level years, this is the time to meet up with all my Malaysian friends scattered all over UK and of course to meet T-Rex.

We would be rushing to get the list of all the usual apartments within a few mile radius from the Malaysia Hall to see who’s going to stay with who. If we’re clever, ringing Kak Halimah beforehand would save lots of grief, avoiding having to stay with a bunch of girls you don’t talk much to, other than hi and bye for the next 3 weeks.

One Easter holiday warmish afternoon with daffodils making debut in the private garden around Bryanston Square, I was sat on the big stairs to the MSD office cracking bits of a giant but hollow Easter egg and popping it in my mouth. Bit by bit, while waiting for it to melt slowly. T-Rex sat next to me enjoying the warm yet cool afternoon himself.

We got the egg from Woolworth for 99p. He had 50 p and I gave him my share of 49p. We shared everything then because most of the time, our bank balance were almost always equally positive and negative.


We were lost in our own world talking about things that happened at school. Catching up on all those time that we didn’t spend together. An MSD (Malaysian student Department) officer walked past and stopped staring at us. I sensed that he was touched by the fact that it was noon time and we were munching chocolate instead of something more substantive.

Tak makan ke? (Are you two not eating?)

Tak ada duit Encik Amir. (No money sir).We’ve only got enough for an egg.

Which was not strictly true, but we love ganging up to pull that kind of fib to somebody like him. We were invincible. We were a team, we could take anything thrown at us, so strong.

The officer’s name was Amir. Encik Amir we called him. The next day he found me loitering in my favourite department, the claim department and beckoned me to his office to have a small talk. He was at the time, happily married to a very well mannered, gracious, beautiful and pious English woman.

You two are emotionally involved? almost clumsy yet forceful he asked.

I can never forget how that question struck me like a lightning. It was like caught naked getting the morning paper from the front door.

I put my defence up and denied him of my honesty. I had no intention to let him read me, judge me, trap me and probably tell my mum that I had a boyfriend. He, sensing my reluctance to open up started telling me his greatest love ever to a malay girl story. Probably like a bait to get me to open my mouth.

“I was like you and him. We were both students here in London at the time and we thought we knew better. I just don’t want you to do the same mistake”.

The rest was all about how much he loved her, how they sacrificed for each other and how after all that they’ve been through, fate surprised both of them and he was devastated. I felt like putting my arms around him at the time.

When he concluded his story and it was the cue for me to let him into my story, to chart the status of my relationship with T-rex, I just froze. Words couldn’t come out. It felt like being questioned by my dad, which the answer to everything would always be No, Never, unless it’s favourable to state differently.

I kept that I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about look all the time which was crumbling slowly to actually-Encik-Amir look when I thought about the time T-Rex do this and do that which made me so upset even ASDA do-it-yourself strawberry trifle £1.99 didn’t taste that good.

My brother who is literally an owl (wise and ugly with eye bags) said once cinta itu berkadar terus dengan kekecewaan, which has some truth in it. (love is directly proportional to the extent of the heart ache)

Encik Amir couldn’t have stopped how our relationship was going to pan out, even if he tried his best. We all have to go through some staple experience to grow up, to teach ourselves a lesson or two. Do we learn best through our mistakes? Most things yes but when it comes to love, some learn but some keep getting it wrong. HAPPY EASTER.

p/s: Never include Easter egg in the post. We know now it’s very warm in the Royal mail sorting centre. Oh Well.

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