Tuesday, March 29, 2005

A 'Short' List. Home at 7 pm. Posted by Hello



The maternity OR today was stirred. The songs were not the usual choice by the resident DJ.

Skibidibidaaskibidadibidooo

Say that’s what we do.. we’re bubbling thru’

Skibidibidaaskibidaaadibidee

Tell me are you feeling me?


Dr.Suave (not his real name of course) put on that song. Yes he brought his own CD and took over the OR like a new cult and this well meaning sabotage was quickly accepted with much approval by everybody apart from the miserable surgeons. Who cares about them anyway, I heard ‘somebody else’ said.


I have no idea why he’s been put to work with me today.


My guess is because he’s about 4 weeks old in this hospital, so he needs somebody more ‘senior’ to look after him, but then another twist to that is, he’s from India and already gone too deep into anaesthetics. He’s done his professional exam there, so chronologically he is older and more experienced than me my logic says. Ironic.

I couldn’t get my head round the rationality of it all without asking Koala the rota-master but I was stuck with Dr.Suave the whole morning together with a storm and thunder he brought upon the midwives.


If I must describe Dr.Suave, I’d put it as a cross between Ricky Martin and Sharukh Khan with slight more butch to the build and a bit more tummy in the epicentre and chest hairs peek-a-booing through the V dip of his bluescrubs. I wonder if the skin underneath ever get enough oxygen.


By the time I got there he’s already seen the lady scheduled for the C-section this morning.

Clean shaven. Hair combed forward carelessly with a sparse tuft of spikes generously cropped with gel at the front to contradict the whole prissiness. He had a pendant with Chinese writing on it.

Not bad smelling.

I have to admit I was impressed. He’s even seen the patient and paid no attention to the fact that I am younger than him. He presented the lady for C-section as though I was a superior assessing him and errrrr…can’t complain. Speechless.

‘Have I impressed you yet Dr.Ahmad’ Does he have to ask me that?

Say something professional and dry. I said to myself. ‘Oh it can get busy around here’. Hmmm I don’t know how that came about.

The midwives were swooning around him and some looked like they’ve been cast a spell, some made it very clear that certain anatomical parts were already secreting some parasympathetically induced stuff when I went to the pantry to get a dose of caffeine.

Before we left to go to the OR, he had so many flirting remarks thrown at him. I think if they were spears he would have been be dead by now from exsanguination and I of course would be swimming in the blood of disgust should I have to work whole day with this guy.

They should put hazard warning on all maternity wards and special zebra crossings for male doctors lah I think.

****

Kerry the ODA was helping Dr.Suave and me in the OR. She’s going to Vietnam in May and been carrying the Lonely Planet –Vietnam book everywhere with her past few weeks.

I have to say that I felt quiet ashamed by the fact that am Malaysian but have not been anywhere else in the South East Asia region apart from Singapore. I shared her enthusiasm though and possibly we’d meet up somewhere in between in May if her schedule is not too tight. Bangkok maybe?

Dr. Suave said we all should go to Goa. It’s what he calls IBIZA of India. Now that doesn’t make it any clearer but I know what he meant. Kerry’s already put Goa as her next destination after Vietnam and I think, I said I have to fail my exam to stay in Grimsby longer to make that possible. September is well away yet. Watch this space though.


I think I lost the will to live at 5:30 pm today watching the vascular surgeons lumbering away, no where near finishing.

I started the anaesthetics for that 80 year old femoral-popliteal case at 2 pm and it was the only case on the list. But mind you, should never ever ever equate the number of cases on the list to how early or late you are to seeing your dinner.

The moment they say ‘sutures please’ my heart skipped a beat and all the agonizing pain melted away. Bit like when just you thought you’ve been stood up by your date and he turned up with a bunch of some wild flowers. Roses are too fairytale and those are too expensive anyway these days. Any sensible man wouldn’t buy roses. Too easy.

I wouldn’t want to imagine having somebody at home waiting for me. I ‘d break his heart everyday. Which of course am not used to. Am not winking. Not laughing either.

But definitely am knackered but aren’t we all. ZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
.

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