BluE Scrubs

Brain?


Tomorrow, I will have a reason to put on something else other than bluescrubs to work. Something nice, smart and presentable. It gives me a smidgen of rush.

Tomorrow I will stand in front of the department, telling them my version of what had gone wrong, what we could have done better, what we would do in future in the event of similar circumstances recurring. I will enlighten and shine lights into the thirsty minds of these doctors and tell them why Mr so and so died, why we let him die rather.

Tomorrow I will have my powerpoint slides ready, I will smile, I will remember to breath in pleasant rythms, (none of those shallow, whoozy inducing pantings I used to do) and I will remember to greet good morning to everyone.

Tomorrow I will loook at everybody when I speak. Not just at Dave, Deepa or Kevin. Tomorrow I hope they turn up, I need that nod that 'yes Naj, I agree' look we all give each other for moral support.

Tomorrow I will remember to not eat baked beans for breakfast, because god forbid I do another letwind stunt. The distance might make it safe for the 'silent' category, but deemed catastrophic for the 'explosive' catagory. Very not demure and professional. I dread not been able to trust myself with these things. These tubes and orifices have minds of their own.

But for now which is already tomorrow by the time this is put up, I shall sleep my constipating anxiety away.

Bollockslah. I hate presentations. Why did I say yes?