Monday, January 24, 2005
It's Not Easy #1
On Friday, I had an FRCA mock exam at Hull Royal Infirmary, the hospital I previously worked in. It was still there.
The exam was an OSCE type which only gives you 5 minutes at each station to do what you have to do or if all bullshitting fail, there's always a 'staring' stunt to employ.
Staring stunt is an act of intense staring at for example a bulky metal plug end which has half a dozen nozzles and valves attached to two tubes. No writing, no scratching, no tweaking. Just stare and blink. Could easily be a very enticing prop from Starwars. At least that's what crossed my mind when I got to that station.
At one station somebody I know was a mock examiner. He was an SpR and I used to do many painful on calls with him. He's bald by choice, with goatee and recently married. Bad, bad halitosis at 3 in the morning. I am probably one of the many women who would know that. He went to Canada to do a research last year and came back with a blonde and a ring. Nice one mate.
"Hello , have a seat".
It's me , Naj. Smile lah. He didn't smile back at me. So serious. Yes I know it's mock exam, you could at least do a mock smile. I am pissing myself. I hate OSCE.
"Tell me what this piece of equipment is and what it does". Stern and commandingly serious. He's got a few more wrinkles since the last time I saw him.
Is he kidding me. Of course everybody knows it's the blood pressure machine. Even Oli would know.
"It's a sphygmomanometer? and ..and..it measures blood pressure?" I answered formally with are- you- kidding- me tinge to it and a squirt of disbelief that it was that easy. Why do I have to twist the tone to make it sound like I am asking back a question?
The that easy became less easy, then even more less easy, then not easy then not easy at all, going to answerable, difficult, then bloody difficult then just, crap I have lost my will to live.
You thought it's going to be that easy eh you little mischievous think- you- are- so- smart Malaysian doctor, well you are so wrong, muahahahahahahha. That's what I saw written all over his face. Only then he smiled a bit. Twat!
Got to another station and saw Sorub on the one after. He's a colleague whom I have promised to give a lift to this exam. Oh no. How did he get there? I avoided eye contact and after 3 minutes he looked like he's done his question and looked around. No! don't look left don't..don't.
I had to look at him and meet his gaze and fake a surprised face. Frantic hand gestures on display from my end, trying to apologize and explain why I didn't answer my phone with vigorous 'mouthing' of 'I am so so so sorry, how did you get here? I tried calling you and you weren't and I was err ..ooo..aahhh..bluff..bluff'.
An announcement came from the 'timer' station:
'May I remind you that candidates are not allowed to confer with each other. Failure to comply will result in sudden termination of the OSCE for the candidates involved. Thank you'.
Hmmm let me just look at my answers again. Sorub did exactly that as well.
There was about 18 stations altogether and by the time I got to the Sim man which is a dummy programmable to do just about everything, I was completely mentally exhausted. Time gone by so quickly as well and in this case even when you're not having fun. It was impossible to drive back home straightaway.
The exam was an OSCE type which only gives you 5 minutes at each station to do what you have to do or if all bullshitting fail, there's always a 'staring' stunt to employ.
Staring stunt is an act of intense staring at for example a bulky metal plug end which has half a dozen nozzles and valves attached to two tubes. No writing, no scratching, no tweaking. Just stare and blink. Could easily be a very enticing prop from Starwars. At least that's what crossed my mind when I got to that station.
At one station somebody I know was a mock examiner. He was an SpR and I used to do many painful on calls with him. He's bald by choice, with goatee and recently married. Bad, bad halitosis at 3 in the morning. I am probably one of the many women who would know that. He went to Canada to do a research last year and came back with a blonde and a ring. Nice one mate.
"Hello , have a seat".
It's me , Naj. Smile lah. He didn't smile back at me. So serious. Yes I know it's mock exam, you could at least do a mock smile. I am pissing myself. I hate OSCE.
"Tell me what this piece of equipment is and what it does". Stern and commandingly serious. He's got a few more wrinkles since the last time I saw him.
Is he kidding me. Of course everybody knows it's the blood pressure machine. Even Oli would know.
"It's a sphygmomanometer? and ..and..it measures blood pressure?" I answered formally with are- you- kidding- me tinge to it and a squirt of disbelief that it was that easy. Why do I have to twist the tone to make it sound like I am asking back a question?
The that easy became less easy, then even more less easy, then not easy then not easy at all, going to answerable, difficult, then bloody difficult then just, crap I have lost my will to live.
You thought it's going to be that easy eh you little mischievous think- you- are- so- smart Malaysian doctor, well you are so wrong, muahahahahahahha. That's what I saw written all over his face. Only then he smiled a bit. Twat!
Got to another station and saw Sorub on the one after. He's a colleague whom I have promised to give a lift to this exam. Oh no. How did he get there? I avoided eye contact and after 3 minutes he looked like he's done his question and looked around. No! don't look left don't..don't.
I had to look at him and meet his gaze and fake a surprised face. Frantic hand gestures on display from my end, trying to apologize and explain why I didn't answer my phone with vigorous 'mouthing' of 'I am so so so sorry, how did you get here? I tried calling you and you weren't and I was err ..ooo..aahhh..bluff..bluff'.
An announcement came from the 'timer' station:
'May I remind you that candidates are not allowed to confer with each other. Failure to comply will result in sudden termination of the OSCE for the candidates involved. Thank you'.
Hmmm let me just look at my answers again. Sorub did exactly that as well.
There was about 18 stations altogether and by the time I got to the Sim man which is a dummy programmable to do just about everything, I was completely mentally exhausted. Time gone by so quickly as well and in this case even when you're not having fun. It was impossible to drive back home straightaway.
