Thursday, December 16, 2004
I Do Watch Telly
Missy Elliot was sat on a sofa with a chinese friend and chinese friend's father. They looked like they've been sat there for a while. Chinese friend suddenly had this look of being hit by a stupendous brainwave. To do this face sit up straight force a grin, plastic it, show off all incisors, try and make some dimples, goggle your eyes but at the same time retain the slittiness, and say:
"Missy! It's time for the surprise!!"
So the chinese friend rushed out , almost breaking into small little skips, disappearing into the next room. Missy in the living room started chewing on a twig of pretzels. Missy offered them to chinese friend's father. He was about to pick one up and advanced it to his mouth when he was forced to look at Missy.
Missy, with all her might, was clasping to her her throat and just about managed to squawk some distressing sounds, very much like a cat with a hairball stuck in the windpipe. Missy had pretzel stuck in her throat! The chinese friend's father rose up to his feet, turned Missy around and started to do a Heimlich maneouvre. Definitely looked like him shagging Missy doggy style of course.
He must have practiced it so many times to perfect the Heimlich that the pretzel flung out after just three thrusts. Missy took some long hard breaths, relieved that she's still alive. Still embracing in doggy style, a conversation took place:
Missy: Oh God, thank you, thank you. Where did you learn to do that?
Chinese friend's father: Oh Bangkok
Chinese friend walked in rejoining them both, with a big box adorned with a big red ribbon.
'Happy Birthday dadd...'....?????
She difinitely didn't see that coming.
I think it's funny, talk about 'it's not what it looks like' aye?
"Missy! It's time for the surprise!!"
So the chinese friend rushed out , almost breaking into small little skips, disappearing into the next room. Missy in the living room started chewing on a twig of pretzels. Missy offered them to chinese friend's father. He was about to pick one up and advanced it to his mouth when he was forced to look at Missy.
Missy, with all her might, was clasping to her her throat and just about managed to squawk some distressing sounds, very much like a cat with a hairball stuck in the windpipe. Missy had pretzel stuck in her throat! The chinese friend's father rose up to his feet, turned Missy around and started to do a Heimlich maneouvre. Definitely looked like him shagging Missy doggy style of course.
He must have practiced it so many times to perfect the Heimlich that the pretzel flung out after just three thrusts. Missy took some long hard breaths, relieved that she's still alive. Still embracing in doggy style, a conversation took place:
Missy: Oh God, thank you, thank you. Where did you learn to do that?
Chinese friend's father: Oh Bangkok
Chinese friend walked in rejoining them both, with a big box adorned with a big red ribbon.
'Happy Birthday dadd...'....?????
She difinitely didn't see that coming.
I think it's funny, talk about 'it's not what it looks like' aye?
