Thursday, November 25, 2004
Muddled
Am sat in this little dingy office adjacent to the intensive care unit. Seeking respite. Had not been allowed to sleep even a wink tonight. Mr.Bed 2 has been dropping his blood pressure as if he is the only one I have to look after tonight. Oh behave already sir. You have been nothing but trouble tonight.
As we speak ( I feel like I am talking ), I just managed to up the mean pressure to 80 mmHg. His urine output had created a special slot in my wondering mind. Demanding attention on the hour every hour for the past 8 hours.He'd just came back from a 5 hour sigmoidcolectomy (this is chopping a bit of you bowel out and joining the end to the other end), so most often than not we are a bit behind with the fluids. So pushing fluids we did, all night.
How is it that I am doing night shift, two days in a row on weekdays? Have I upset anybody in particular?
At 3 am (things always happen at 3 am), had to call the boss at home when it transpired that Mr. Bed2 was not playing the game. I did not like it when I am spoken to like that.
"You take 10 mg of metaraminol, you mix in 20 ml saline, so you get 0.5mg per ml "in his sticky Burmese accent.
I knowlah the maths, tell me what you want me to do. doink! Very volatile I was.
"So you want me to start metaraminol? But I thought we don't use it anymore on the unit", I felt the need to clarify, no intention to be rude whatsoever.
"Yes I know. Start phenylephrine." he abruptly added and equally abruptly stopped and ????
What?so? what's with the metaraminol?which one is it now?phenylephrine or metaraminol?
Didn't come out as ugly as that but the message was intentionally clear. I like it when I say subtle things.
I don't like it when people get me confused. It's like when people say I am pulling your legs, when they mean they are joking. Or say things like 'Nothing', without looking at you, when clearly they are upset with you.
That's a lie because nothing means a lot of things here. I also don't like it when people don't look at me when I talk to them. I think they have something to hide when they do that. The last time somebody significant did that to me, I later found out that he has been lying.
I am feeling emotionally ergkh and physically ouch and languistically blergh. Sleep deprived people always become simpler as human sesory and motor humonculus are made to prefer simple things especially when allowed to choose. I would sleep anywhere now.
As we speak ( I feel like I am talking ), I just managed to up the mean pressure to 80 mmHg. His urine output had created a special slot in my wondering mind. Demanding attention on the hour every hour for the past 8 hours.He'd just came back from a 5 hour sigmoidcolectomy (this is chopping a bit of you bowel out and joining the end to the other end), so most often than not we are a bit behind with the fluids. So pushing fluids we did, all night.
How is it that I am doing night shift, two days in a row on weekdays? Have I upset anybody in particular?
At 3 am (things always happen at 3 am), had to call the boss at home when it transpired that Mr. Bed2 was not playing the game. I did not like it when I am spoken to like that.
"You take 10 mg of metaraminol, you mix in 20 ml saline, so you get 0.5mg per ml "in his sticky Burmese accent.
I knowlah the maths, tell me what you want me to do. doink! Very volatile I was.
"So you want me to start metaraminol? But I thought we don't use it anymore on the unit", I felt the need to clarify, no intention to be rude whatsoever.
"Yes I know. Start phenylephrine." he abruptly added and equally abruptly stopped and ????
What?so? what's with the metaraminol?which one is it now?phenylephrine or metaraminol?
Didn't come out as ugly as that but the message was intentionally clear. I like it when I say subtle things.
I don't like it when people get me confused. It's like when people say I am pulling your legs, when they mean they are joking. Or say things like 'Nothing', without looking at you, when clearly they are upset with you.
That's a lie because nothing means a lot of things here. I also don't like it when people don't look at me when I talk to them. I think they have something to hide when they do that. The last time somebody significant did that to me, I later found out that he has been lying.
I am feeling emotionally ergkh and physically ouch and languistically blergh. Sleep deprived people always become simpler as human sesory and motor humonculus are made to prefer simple things especially when allowed to choose. I would sleep anywhere now.
