Friday, October 29, 2004
At the vet
We've decided on 2 things after Nick's attempt to crack a joke. He needs to do a couple of practices or give it up altogether. Nick is one of the operating Department Assistants (ODA). They pass tools for you, hold things for you, secure things for you, find things for you or at least tell you where things are, provided it's tagged with the magic word and also with a genuine smile.
They work hard and stand around like a mobile hand extension. A good ODA will always ask before they go to the loo, and Nick is one of the best ones I have worked with so far.
I was mastering the art of waiting AGAIN and Nick joined me and Neil. I was picking Neil's brain on the subject of being a man and being lefthanded. Don't ask. He must have not liked the subject and changed the scene.
"A woman rushed into a vet office with a rabbit in her hands".
We got excited and listened on.
"I think my rabbit is dead, but I thought I'd bring it in anyway just for a second opinion".
"So the vet got up and started examining. A few minutes of poking and nudging. He looked up and shook his head. It's dead all right. I'm sorry".
"No , no the woman said",
Nick did a good high pitch damsel in distress type voice. We were bursting.
"I want a second opinion, I am not happy with your opinion".
"So the vet calmly phewitted a cat in. He gave a nod and the cat poked and pawed the rabbit".
"The rabbit was motionless and appeared dead".
"The cat shook it's head and jumped off the table and disappeared".
"The woman again shrieked in dismay".
Again Nick did the high pitch yodel.
"No! No! can't be right. I want a third opinion".
"So the vet called a .."
at this point he stopped and we were all agog.
"Wot Nick???" we said.
He was holding his head trying to remember what it was.
Bill shouted from across the corridor.
"It's the bloody labrador mate!!! Labrador!!! Hahahahahahah blimming eck!Wot are u loike!"
"Oh yea, labrador". He carried on as if he didn't hear Bill.
"So the labrador poked , pawed again and sniffed and even hit the rabbit a few times".
"Motionless, rigor mortis". Neil and me looked at each other.
"It jumped off and the vet looked at the woman".
"The woman succumbed to the pressure and said 'Ok ok I have to accept it now I suppose. The rabbit is dead'". He made the woman sounded like a drag queen.
"How much do I owe you?", asked the woman.
"£300 please", the vet confidently answered.
'Wot? How did it get that much?' the woman shrieked. Nick shrieked. It's not difficult to imagine.
At this point he looked as if he was chaffed by his joke so far. Now the punch line.
"So? Why was it so expensive?" asked Neil.
Eagerly he went 'Well £100 for the vet consultation, £100 for the CAT scan (at which point he arched his eyebrows and grinned), and £100 for..."
He lost it again!!
He lost the punch line.
He left us standing there and hurried over to Bill's theatre.
I looked at Neil and we bursted out laughing.
We saw Nick hurrying back.
"Err the other £100 was for LAB test". He did the eyebrow archery again."You know..labrador...LAB test?"
We laughed so much Neil had to go to the toilet. Nick scratched his neck and shrugged his shoulders.
Wot are you like Nick.
They work hard and stand around like a mobile hand extension. A good ODA will always ask before they go to the loo, and Nick is one of the best ones I have worked with so far.
I was mastering the art of waiting AGAIN and Nick joined me and Neil. I was picking Neil's brain on the subject of being a man and being lefthanded. Don't ask. He must have not liked the subject and changed the scene.
"A woman rushed into a vet office with a rabbit in her hands".
We got excited and listened on.
"I think my rabbit is dead, but I thought I'd bring it in anyway just for a second opinion".
"So the vet got up and started examining. A few minutes of poking and nudging. He looked up and shook his head. It's dead all right. I'm sorry".
"No , no the woman said",
Nick did a good high pitch damsel in distress type voice. We were bursting.
"I want a second opinion, I am not happy with your opinion".
"So the vet calmly phewitted a cat in. He gave a nod and the cat poked and pawed the rabbit".
"The rabbit was motionless and appeared dead".
"The cat shook it's head and jumped off the table and disappeared".
"The woman again shrieked in dismay".
Again Nick did the high pitch yodel.
"No! No! can't be right. I want a third opinion".
"So the vet called a .."
at this point he stopped and we were all agog.
"Wot Nick???" we said.
He was holding his head trying to remember what it was.
Bill shouted from across the corridor.
"It's the bloody labrador mate!!! Labrador!!! Hahahahahahah blimming eck!Wot are u loike!"
"Oh yea, labrador". He carried on as if he didn't hear Bill.
"So the labrador poked , pawed again and sniffed and even hit the rabbit a few times".
"Motionless, rigor mortis". Neil and me looked at each other.
"It jumped off and the vet looked at the woman".
"The woman succumbed to the pressure and said 'Ok ok I have to accept it now I suppose. The rabbit is dead'". He made the woman sounded like a drag queen.
"How much do I owe you?", asked the woman.
"£300 please", the vet confidently answered.
'Wot? How did it get that much?' the woman shrieked. Nick shrieked. It's not difficult to imagine.
At this point he looked as if he was chaffed by his joke so far. Now the punch line.
"So? Why was it so expensive?" asked Neil.
Eagerly he went 'Well £100 for the vet consultation, £100 for the CAT scan (at which point he arched his eyebrows and grinned), and £100 for..."
He lost it again!!
He lost the punch line.
He left us standing there and hurried over to Bill's theatre.
I looked at Neil and we bursted out laughing.
We saw Nick hurrying back.
"Err the other £100 was for LAB test". He did the eyebrow archery again."You know..labrador...LAB test?"
We laughed so much Neil had to go to the toilet. Nick scratched his neck and shrugged his shoulders.
Wot are you like Nick.
